Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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