You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
