I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
