What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
