It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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