he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
