dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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