We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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