Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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