We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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