I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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