at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
