Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
