I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
