# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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