why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
