There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
