when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
