Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
