She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Come see our sink grown plant.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
