I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
