im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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