addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize