I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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