talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
