Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
