I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
