I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
