well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
