Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
