I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
