this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize