All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
