Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
