I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
