did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
