she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize