i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
