I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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