And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
