my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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