They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My vagina is very pro this idea
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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