Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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