in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you had me at cake vodka
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
