ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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