God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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