Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize