Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
