First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
