My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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