This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
smell my finger.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
