I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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