Umm I'm too high to move.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
