Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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