He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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