Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
