Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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