so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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