Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and she was petting her beer can
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
